Muscle Memory was never supposed to be read by anyone other than me. My father passed in 2021, exposing my helplessness when it came to asking for help. I’d spent my life developing the thickest skin, projecting a hyper-independence that I thought could never be pierced. Losing my dad ripped that skin away, leaving a raw pulp of fear that I’d been pushing down. I didn’t speak the language of asking for help. I had to learn. I looked into grief counseling groups, but the tho
